Quick Takes
Oil's well in Dubya's misunderestimation
BY ZAY N. SMITH SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
News Item: Prices at gas pumps near record high.
News Item: Surge in profits for oil companies.
News Item: Bush administration says there is no evidence of price gouging by oil companies.
Oh. Never mind, then.
Spring forward, fall in!
M.F., an Aurora reader, writes:
"Monday sees the Hindu festival of Holi, celebrating spring. It is also St. Patrick's Day. Tuesday is the Jewish festival of Purim, when it is obligatory to enjoy yourself and make merry. It is also St. Joseph's Day. Friday is New Year's Day for Baha'is and for many Zoroastrians, and the Spring Equinox in Japan, important for Shintos. These are mostly celebrations of the end of winter and the beginning of new life. So let us hope and pray that it will be a week of peace, as well as of joy."
The U.S. and Iraq can probably use the extra time to deploy their forces.
Honestly
News Item: Former President Bill Clinton to narrate Aaron Copland's "Lincoln Portrait" with Arkansas Symphony Orchestra.
Next: The Rev. Al Sharpton recites the "I Have a Dream" speech.
Devil in disguise
Supermarket Headline of the Month: "IS OSAMA WORKING AS AN ELVIS IMPERSONATOR?"
Sensing a coverup
News Item: "More than 100 women gathered on a chilly hillside to bare all in their fight for peace...."
News Item: "About 750 women took off their clothes and formed a heart shape around the words 'No War' on...."
News Item: "More than 250 men stripped naked in Australia yesterday in a demonstration against the country's involvement in...."
News Item: "About 50 activists have stripped to their underpants to protest...."
Are some of us losing the courage of our convictions?
Math anxiety
The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators (cont'd):
A 13-year-old boy at Burns Middle School in Brandon, Fla., was suspended and faces expulsion because teachers discovered his pocket calculator contains a magnifying glass, a screwdriver and a small knife.
Sand trap
News Item: Seventy-two golfers tee off at Qatar Masters tournament.
Nice timing.
Ommmmmm
News Item: "Mafia criminals serving time in an Italian maximum security prison are being given yoga lessons to help them relax and reduce tension."
No. Our mobsters just aren't what they used to be.
It's a big tent
Today's Birthdays: Barnum & Bailey Circus, 122; Federal Trade Commission, 88.
Oy voy!
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language (cont'd):
David Sher, a Skokie reader, writes:
"If the plural of/ tooth is teeth, is more than one/ tollbooth called tollbeeth? If a looker looks/ and an ogler ogles/ does a voyeur voy?"
And where else can you find English usage discussed in haiku?
QT is at qt@suntimes.com.
©Copyright 2003, Chicago Sun-Times (IL, USA)
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