Posted by Darya on May 10, 19101 at 15:03:29:

In Reply to: Masturbation posted by Jonah on December 23, 2000 at 23:42:20:

Allah Abha to whom it may concern:

I am Darya and I am a strong Baha'i' believer. Although I do not want to admire myself, but I do my best to keep myself away from the hiptonizing temptatations that most of the innocent youth go through and get involved so easily in the 21st century. This letter regards to masturbation, and the quotes of Bahaullah and Shoghi Effendi, about the controlling of our minds, and occupying our energies and thoughts with a healthy Bahai life and important tasks. We should not pay too much attention or emphasize too much on our sexual impulses. I have a concern and questions about this. We all know that the whole world is changing day by day, and new things or rules develop. In western world, sex is like a fairytale, and sexualism is very cheap, and it's every individual's responsibility to stay away from those kind of people who think of love based on the pleasure of sex, or it's every individual's responsibility to protect her or his virtues according to her or his beliefs, particularly if these individuals are Baha'is, But!!! Here is my question. Let's say I pray everyday, try to control my emotions, and temptations. Let's say, I attend every feast, understand the Bahai principles, and stay away from satans( the bad people on this earth), but every night when I go on the street, I feel like something is squeezing my stomach, my blood pressure goes up, sweat; my boyfriends asks me to involve in sexual relationship with him, and I say no because I am Bahai, and sex before marriage is the greatest sin, but tell me what should I do?? I know that I want to keep my virginity, and my body protected from the opposite soul, before marriage, because I have dignity, not just because I am a Bahai. I tried to control my temptations, by telling myself: "" I am Bahai for myself. I am not a Bahai for my parents, and I am not a Bahai because my parents are Bahais. I am proud to be a Bahai, so therefore I have to obey Bahaulllah's principles, with love and motivation, not by force. I am not doing this because Bahaullah has forbidden me. No!! Bahaullah forbid us from sex before marriage, because he wants to protect us. He doesn't want us to be used and be overused by people who say nowadays:"" Love is too risky. I am not even thinking about marriage right now. If you think about marriage, I am the wrong person. I am not fully in love with you, but I just like you too much because you are my girlfriend. Love occurs, when too people are ready to get married. I kiss and touch you, but I can't be your lover"" This is why I pray to Bahaullah, because he knows these satans. He knows that these satans who live in a materialistic world, and base their lives on material things, and temptations, want to steal your dignity too, therefore we should pray deeply, and ask Bahaullah to protect us, especially if we live in the western culture. My final question is that, "" Is masturbation for a man and a woman forbidden or not, because I haven't quite understood, and it's hard to open this private question with other community Bahai's. In my own opinion, masturbation should not be forbidden if somebody has high levels of thyroid hormones(a gland that secrete TSH hormones, that controls all other hormones, especially your sex hormones in the body). Masturbation can never be replaced with real natural sex. In fact, masturbation can sometimes increase your pain of lacking freedom to practice sex before marriage, because you become torchered. How can your sex impulses be ignored, when you have all these society's pressure on you??? How can you not feel depressed, and ignored, when you see sex all over the place: in peoples' conversations, on TV, magazines, posters, open environment(on the street), or couples holding hands, and then you tell yourself, what if you loved someone too,or someone gave you love? Doesn't Bahai Faith respect a youth's pain, based on the pressure he or she goes through?? It's not easy!! It's not easy for young adults to protect their virtues,or dignity, and they are innocent. Please tell me is there any solution to this important issue, because it's been a long time, I have gone through it, and my ages, are going through it too. We are all human beings. We are not dead, and we can't ignore our sexual feelings, because it's part of human nature. If God wanted us not tp produce any sexual tension or impulse, then he shouldn't have given us reproductive systems, and if he has given us, then he should understand and Bahaullah should sympatize with our pain. Please don't get me wrong. I totally disagree with sex before marriage, but I am more concerned about the therapy to this problem. Spiritual healing is number one, but scientific explorations, and solutions, have to be taken into considerations too. But its seems that , Bahai faith only says that if you just pray, and keep yourself away from those sexual scenes, you be fine, and then just ignore what the psychologist, or endochronologists say!!! Then, who should I believe?? If I have to ignore science, then why do I go to school to learn science???? Science says that masturbation is natural, and sexual impulse can not be ignored, but then Bahai Faith oppose to it. I am so confused in the middle. I have the right to question about any Bahai principle I doubt, and Bahuallah has give us this freedom. I don't just want to memorize them. I want to understand them logically, not because my parents taught me, or the Bahai school. I know what the solution is. The only solution is "" MARRIAGE"", because then it's not a sin anymore. Because then your parents cannot bother you anymore. Because you don't have to suffer in your bed, and hide your pain anymore. Because, you don't have to take anti-hyperthyroidism herbs to detensify your lobido, and make you a neutral person any more!!!!!! But tell me please!!! What if you may not get married for years and years, because you haven't found your soulmate yet.???? What should you do between the duration of your single life, and until your marriage???? Do you have to suffer, and suffer!!! I call this sufferage. I don't like to get marriage for the sake of my hormones!!! No this is totally wrong for any youth!! What if I have plans and dreams in my life?? What if I am not ready for marriage??? What if I want to reach my goals first, but do I have to suffer from now, until marriage!! Who knows, how long, or when it's going to happen???? There should be a solution.!!!!! Please for God's sake reply to my e-mail> I wish if lived in the holy land, in Bahaullah house, so I would just never ever see these kind of seductive scenes anymore!! This society really seduces you!!!

ginipig24@yahoo.ca

Allah Abha!!!
Darya

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